Have you ever wanted to do something and you stop yourself? You think, ‘Eh, I can’t do that.‘ Or you saw somebody do something well, and say, “I can never learn to do something like that.”
It’s called gatekeeping. And we do it to ourselves all the time. Actually, I do it to myself all the time.
I start to write something here, and all these limiting beliefs start flooding my mind. Nah, that topic is stupid. Who would read this crap?
I catch myself, but the moment has passed.
Why do we do it to ourselves?
According to people who specialize in these things, limiting beliefs are a defense mechanism we use to prevent pain, failure, and other negative feelings.
When I was a kid, my parents argued about money. There was never enough of it, and that shaped my worldview. Money is a finite resource. As soon as I started earning my own money, I spent it like it was going out of style.
Money is a finite resource.
I attempted to save money over the 15 or so years I’ve been working, but there was always something — an emergency, a health issue — and I’d find myself back where I started, with negative money. There was never enough money: I lived from paycheck to paycheck, and emergencies got me into debt. Also, let’s not leave out the stupid decisions I made over that decade and a half.
Don’t get me wrong, I knew I had to change something. If I was going to break my family’s pattern, I knew I had to do things differently. The limiting beliefs were still there (Hey, maybe I’m destined to be poor. Maybe I’m not meant for success because I don’t have a degree. I’ve made some extremely idiotic financial decisions, and it’s money I can’t get back.) but I had to at least give it a try.
Receiving mentorship from my boss and reading the books he sent me helped a ton. Many of the books he recommended (mostly about real estate, sales, and leadership) centered around one thing: mindset.
Mindset is very important in success, after all.
We talked a lot about setting goals, taking baby steps to reach those goals, and setting new, bigger, hairier, more audacious goals.
Little by little, my mindset shifted. Money isn’t a finite resource. I don’t have to live from paycheck to paycheck. Emergencies don’t have to get me into debt. Debt is not an insurmountable roadblock. I am not destined to be poor.
I spent a year paying off debt and another year on building an emergency fund. I learned and started to invest.
I still have limiting beliefs. Who’s going to read this?
One step at a time.